Bicycle Store

The Illiterate Cyclist

Kooky Bicycle Service/Repair, Parts, Accessories, and SAG Support.

Building our area a better bike shop and cycling community one rickety step at a time.



Come Visit
(Calls Taken During Hours Listed, ONLY)

Mon-Tues-Thurs-Fri (10-8)

Wed (Closed)

Sat (10-5)

Sun (11-5)


A Little Background Noise

15 year Veteran of the Bike Industry going it alone to offer the Detroit Metro area and beyond the best and most comprehensive bike service I can. I have run many bike shops across the country, lead multi-store service departments, been a Rep in the Recumbent world (we're not talking about it), a wheel builder, suspension tech, Inside and Outside Territory Manager for a few bicycle parts distributors, a Dealer Account Coordinator for helping shops globally build their repertoire for their local consumer needs, a multi-time organizer of Cranksgiving events, and highly proud to be a SAG Mechanic for Make-A-Wish Michigan and the WAM300 ride. I have been across the country quite a bit, but the Detroit area is where I want to lay the groundwork for supporting our bike community with the best mechanical support they deserve. Please see my Services section to get a better grasp. Also, please follow my often maniacal ramblings on Instaham @theilliteratecyclist or weekly updates on Facebook.



There Can Be Only One


Balthazar Impresario

What's in a name?

Seem's people are either offended by the company name, or find it goofy and get a bit confused.  But, there's a story in it all.  I had an idea about 10 or 11 years ago that if I were to open my own shop one day, it would more-so be in a larger urban area, catering to the Commuters and Fixter types (Bipster?).  A hip, eclectic shop that was at its core a 100% reliable service driven shop, with the parts and accessories an actual cyclist would want.  And maybe carry a small, unique bike brand or two, like State, Fairdale, or Pure Cycles.  At the same time, I read a book every other month.  So, why not incorporate a used book store into it?  Hence,  The Illiterate Cyclist.  A place an every-person could come and get their mental and physical fix!  Where are books?  Hey, things cost money! 

As Balthazar Impresario, one of the last of the great Stage Show Runners; here comes the curtain call, time to rattle the boards one last time.

Repair Menu

Be it a proper bike tune-up, more singular and basic tweeks, custom wheel builds, suspension overhauls, and beyond; The Illiterate Cyclist has you covered.  Taking the Middle-Man out of the equation and by dedicating to the origins of a bike shop, The Service, allows me to offer you a better price, faster turn-around, and guaranteed, better results...because that's what I am known for.  

Disclaimer:  The Illiterate Cyclist does not support any throttle driven bicycles.  And, I don't sell Schwinn's, nor do I buy them.

Meat N' Potatoes Tune ($70)

Everything You Need, Nothing You Don't

Gear Adjustments, Brake Adjustments, Wheel Truing, Bearing Adjustments Where Applicable, Bike Cleaning, Cable and Housing Lubrication, Lite Chain Cleaning and Lubrication, Greasing Of Touch-Points, and General Safety Check and Bolt Torque.  Parts extra.

Kitchen Sink Services

Ala-Carte Labor

  • Tire/Tube Change ($10), 

  • Front and Rear Gear or Brake Adjustment ($20) 

  • New Cable and Housing Install with Adjustment ($15 per Brake/Shifter)

  • Hub Overhaul Clean N' Grease ($20)

  • Bottom Bracket Overhaul or Install ($20)

  • Wheel True ($20) 

  • Custom Wheel Build ($60 per Wheel)

  • Hydraulic Brake Bleed ($20 per Brake)

  • Suspension Overhaul ($25Rear/$50Front)

  • Custom Bike/Frame Build ($140)

  • Accessory Install ($10 per)

* Ask about anything else not listed.

Bits N' Bobs


  • Bought a bike online, and need to get it built, tuned, and prepped to be safe and secure...($60/Boxed Bike Build).

  • The Illiterate Cyclist is a new and growing business on a thread-bare budget.  We will be bringing in a good mix of parts and accessories to fill out the shop and offer the what's and wears you and your bike needs for your adventures.  As an actual cyclist myself, I assuredly stock products I can stand behind, and have product catalogs to get you so much more than you see.

  • SAG Support

    • Make-A-Wish Michigan's WAM300 Bike Tour

    • Bike Dearborn Open Streets

    • The Illiterate Cyclist's Cranksgiving

    • Monroe Cycling Club's Lake Erie Fall Classic

    • and beyond!  Contact me about your cycling event...if the cause is good, I'm likely interested!


Now For Something Completely The Same

Winter Mint N' Potatoes Tune ($50)

Same great Tune-Up, just at a more fantastic deal Dec-Feb.  Our Meat N' Potatoes Tune ($70) is a very comprehensive tune as is, often referred to as Performance or Advanced Tune at many bike shops across the country.

Includes:  Wheel Truing, Gear/Brake Adjustments, Proper Bearing Preload/Adjustments, Lube and Oil Critical Interfaces, Nut N' Bolt Safety Check, and A Nice Bike Cleaning.  We don't throw rags at things, turn a barrel adjuster, and call it good.  

Any  other services or parts are extra, prices can be found on the "Services" tab.  Example:  Brake Bleeds, Spoke Install, Custom Wheel Build, Cables N' Housing, Hub Overhauls, Bearing Installation, Tubeless, Suspension Overhaul, Etc.

*Motorized bikes are not supported, under any circumstances.

*Recumbents and Adult Trikes aren't applicable, but will be accessible for repair in the Spring. 


Hip Hop Anonymous, Hiphopopotamus?

We've Gone To Thing Doing

Event stories, now that I've figured out how not to break the website, again.

WAM 300

True And Honest Service

Make-A-Wish MI:  Wish-A-Mile 300 Bike Tour (Rider Sponsor, Tour Mechanic, Donor).  

For the past 33 years, Make-A-Wish Michigan has had a Wish-A-Mile Bike Tour across Michigan the final full weekend of July.  Started as a challenge among a few riders in the 80's to raise funds to grant Wishes for children born with life threatening conditions; has now grown to a near 2000 rider strong group of people from across the country, raising on average $2.25 Million Dollars each year.  Normally, I would be the SAG Mechanic for the three day 300 mile tour from TC to Marshall, MI.  But, the World got flipped upside-down this year....  Most riders did smaller solo/virtual riders, or more singular rides with their respective Teams. Not to be undone, Monroe Cycling Club and local Gym Rats devised an advanced route to do the ride as planned, in legacy of the original riders and to keep the flame burning for the kids.  Adding two extra days with a Mackinaw starting point, we traversed MI to the Ohio boarder for near 500 miles.  Unplanned, my new SAG Vehicle for the business blew up right before reaching Traverse City (picture of me catching the group riding into TC, and their first mechanicals).  Luckily my Dad was able to drive up and offer me a loaner to make sure the riders were covered for the final, traditional 300 mile trek.  Butts rubbed raw from heat and hills.  Shaky interactions with gun and knife toting Rednecks in otherworldly parts of the Country, getting runoff the road by reckless motorists and truck drivers, and Satanists with time to kill...this was the darkest of timelines.  I was even asked to hop on my bike and join the Team as we shot to the OH boarder, death-sprinting in the Summer heat to find refuge under an abandoned gas station in a cornfield before the final push.

But, in the end, Monroe Wish Riders neared $40,000 in donations to Make-A-Wish; and through my tune-up specials and Go-Fund-Me, I got to $1230 of my $1500 goal.    Next year will likely be the most triumphant party by bike when we all come together as one group again.


Respecting Luxury

Global Bike Based Scavenger Hunt:  To Collect Food To Feed Those In Need.  

Sunday Nov. 22 (10-12:30):  You (Yes, You!) are going to be rippin' up the streets on your bike and best portaging device.  Riders will be given a multi-choice list of non-perishables and essentials to help fight hunger and help those in need.  All goods will be donated to Gleaner's Food Bank of Michigan the week of Thanksgiving.  This is now a 20 year strong Gobal event, doing a heck of a lot of good as we come into the more trying time of the year, especially with all that's transpired in 2020.  

Where:  Well, the bike shop, of course, at 10 am.  We only had eight riders last year, without the shop, and under the new guise of The Illiterate Cyclist...but we collected 430lbs of food by bike in two hours!  I want thirty people on bikes this year.  Costumes welcomed...prizes at the end?!

More details to follow on Facebook.  


FB4K Detroit

TIC Bike Shop (Donation Location)

Free Bikes 4 Kidz (FB4K) is a non-profit organization running in a handful of major cities across the US. The main objective is to collect and refurbish children's bikes (12-24" wheeled bikes) from Oct-Dec; and then donate those bikes through partner organizations to help provide bikes to those families and kids most in need for a healthier and happier childhood....right around the Holidays!

So, bring your gently used kids bikes (or those needing a slight touch of TLC). I'll do what I can with sprucing them up, and then deliver them to FB4K on the day's I'm closed (Wed). Very petite 26in bike's are likely OK, too. At the same time, I'll do what I can volunteering at their facility just North of Downtown Detroit at the Piquette building. You are also welcomed to sign up and volunteer for any bike savvy folks, or donate bikes directly at their hub.  They need volunteers!

Click the logo to bounce to their site.

Gulable?  More of a Gula-Calf:  The Things I Get Roped Into.

Impeccable Results

Ride Edward Hines X Wayne Bicycle Club:  All Summer long, Edward Hines Drive is closed from Ann Arbor Trail to Outer Dr until about 3:30 in the afternoon, offering a long, safe stretch of road for Cyclist, Joggers, Walkers to use.  Sat. Aug 29, we will be posted up with the Wayne Bicycle Club at Nankin Mill or the park across the road for a bike ride, get together, and picnic from 10-2.  Offering free minor bike services (look for the Van and Flag).  Shop open from 2-5, otherwise.

Watermoo Gravel Race:  A 112 Mile Gravel and B-Road Bike Race through some of the Dexter/Pinckney/Chelsea area's most scenic and forgotten backroads.  TIC was there to offer whatever tweeks, flat changes, and other mechanical support riders needed on a long and dusty journey.  In collaboration with FitMi! (Pro Bike Fitting), Ann Arbor Velo Club, Ann Arbor Running Co, and Jolly Pumpkin Artisanal Ales.


Contact Us


33423 Ford Rd, Garden City, MI  48135






33423 Ford Rd, Garden City, MI  48135

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